I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
