Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Is this like a preordered booty call?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
