i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
