Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
