Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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