Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I checked into jail on foursquare
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
