so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
