I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
