What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
