Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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