This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize