ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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