Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
