in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
