I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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