**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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