am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
