she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
