Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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