if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
