These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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