He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
