I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
