Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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