you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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