at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
