Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize