Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
