Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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