Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
