super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
