I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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