I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
