Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
