Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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