He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
and she was petting her beer can
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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