the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
