im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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