He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
