I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
