He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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