just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
