Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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