I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize