Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
