Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Swine flu. Run for my life!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
