You're my little dorito
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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