You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
