nut hugger
Your tits are I can't wait for
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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