I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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