Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
