just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
