My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
