i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
