I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm at about main and main street
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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