I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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