As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
