I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
