I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
