Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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