How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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