I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Damn victory sex feels great
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
