EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
This toilet bowl is my home.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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