Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
