Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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