escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize