So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
thus making me awesome and them whores
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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