i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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