just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
