This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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